Re: Spousal secret stash
Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2024 7:05 am
Was waiting for the オチ at the end. MM doesn't disappoint 
4 Mistakes Couples Make When Discussing Money
Therapists share the secrets to a drama-free money chat.
April 5, 2024, 5:04 a.m. ET
I like talking to my husband about a lot of things, but money isn’t one of them. Most of our conversations about spending go something like this: We lament our credit card balances. We grumble about child care costs. Then we retreat until the next bill arrives or tax season shines a bright, unsparing light on our finances — as it is right now.
... In one small study, married couples reported their money-related disagreements tended to be more intense than arguments about other topics, and were less likely to be resolved. ...
I chatted with Ms. Knight and other therapists who work with couples on money issues about some common communication missteps.
Mistake 1: Assuming you have the same values
...
Mistake 2: Not checking in
Often, one partner in a relationship becomes the default money manager, ...
Couples should schedule regular sit-downs or “money meetings” to briefly check in on how things are going and prepare for any big decisions or expenditures coming up. Do not attempt to discuss everything about your finances in one session; ...
Mistake 3: Letting difficult conversations fizzle
Because financial conversations can escalate into arguments, couples sometimes — wisely — drop the subject to decompress, ...
But instead of intentionally returning to the topic — perhaps a debate about spending versus saving — later, they ignore it until the issue comes up again. ...
Mistake 4: Focusing only on scarcity
... But when possible, she thinks couples should inject some playfulness into their financial conversations.
For example: Twice a year, Dr. McCoy and her husband buy a Powerball ticket and spend a date night talking about what they would do if they won. ...
“I really do think it’s a huge mistake to only talk about scarcity — where we should cut, how we should budget,” Dr. McCoy said. “You can learn so much from having those positive, playful conversations.”