Raising Kids and Picking Schools

[MyTime]

StockBeard, RJ, Windborn

Thanks for the replies, and for the practical advice.

I think what I really have to do is stop being lazy and just start making an effort.

This will sound strange, but if I'm being really honest my ego is also getting in the way: In the almost 20 years since I moved to Japan, I've always prided myself on being able to speak the language and not have to rely on English (my native language). I guess I actually became pretty snobbish about it. Now I feel almost embarrassed to speak English in public--very self-conscious. I realize that must sound kind of ridiculous, but it's become almost like a kind of complex.

Anyway I realize have to get over that nonsense and start speaking English with my little girl. Being bilingual would be a huge gift that I could give her.

We have already made some small steps in the form of exposing her to English language TV shows (mostly "In the Night Garden" and "Seasame Street"), and songs (like the the "Kids Bossa" series of CDs) pretty much since she was born. But I need to make more of an effort or I'll definitely regret it a little further down the road.

Thanks again for the motivation.

[StockBeard]

I think I understand where you're coming from. I've had a few occurrences where I feel weird speaking English or French in a public space (e.g. at school, at the park,...) as I don't want to give the impression I'm ignoring other kids and their parents around me. Maybe start at home if that helps?

[RetireJapan]

This will sound strange, but if I'm being really honest my ego is also getting in the way: In the almost 20 years since I moved to Japan, I've always prided myself on being able to speak the language and not have to rely on English (my native language). I guess I actually became pretty snobbish about it. Now I feel almost embarrassed to speak English in public--very self-conscious. I realize that must sound kind of ridiculous, but it's become almost like a kind of complex.

I understand completely: I have the same feelings. It annoys me when people try to speak English to me, particularly when their English isn't very good, and especially when I am the customer.

However, I only speak English to my granddaughter. It's become a habit now and I am happy to do it anywhere. I will speak Japanese to other kids, or their parents, or people around us, but I switch back into English to address her.

It might take a while to get used to it, but you both will eventually.

There was an awkward stage for a while when she was about four, when she would ask me to speak Japanese to her (I speak Japanese to the rest of the family) but I would always refuse and explain why: because I want her to be able to understand and use English. Even at four she was satisfied with this.

[MyTime]

I understand completely: I have the same feelings. It annoys me when people try to speak English to me...

It's weird isn't it. If someone had tried to describe that to me before I moved to Japan I would have had no idea what on Earth they were on about.

What StockBeard said, that he doesn't want to give the impression he's ignoring other kids and their parents--I can get that--that's just kind of being considerate in a way. But what I'm talking about with regards to myself really is just an ego-driven thing I think. It's BS really, and I have to get over it.

I've ordered some English language story books from Amazon. It's a start.

[RetireJapan]

I've ordered some English language story books from Amazon. It's a start.

I've found Netflix (the kids part) to be great. My granddaughter is really into My Little Pony, and I enjoy Justin Time. We also read a lot of stories and books in English. I take her to her activities when I can too, baby swimming before, and trampoline now. Basically spending time together in English is the key for us.

[MyTime]

Thanks RJ. I have been watching English Language stuff with her on Netflix, YouTube, and Amazon Prime Video (I've seen the movie "Sing!" about ten times...). It's pretty hard to compete with brainwashing powerhouses like "Okasan to Issho" and "Inai Inai Baa," but I will persevere.

[RetireJapan]

Ha, ha, we like Sing too (and the Despicable Me movies). We agree Ash is probably the best character (apart from possibly Mrs. Crawley or Nana)

[Kiyora999]

I have a question similar to this, I don't know if I should create another topic for that or not...

I'll get married with a Japanese man at the end of the year and we plan to try to get a baby from then.
I feel a little bit stressed by the Dailycare centers waiting queues because I can't imagine myself stopping working for more than 1 year (the legal period after maternity leave), hoping to be more around 6-8 months.
My company seems open-minded in terms of maternity leave so I won't be fired or harassed because of this and I feel that it is important for me to get some time since it'll be my first baby.

I was wondering, is it possible that I get some troubles to get my kid accepted in Public Daycare centers because he/she will be half?
I speak fluently Japanese and don't plan to come back to Europe so we prefer to go for traditional Japanese systems and I'll speak French/English at home so that she/he will be able to understand the family when we meet.

We'll be in Tokyo around Kita-ku (Akabane) at that time or in Saitama. Do you know how much time before we have to apply in Tokyo to be sure to have a place available somewhere so that we can both work?
I've heard that we have to start doing applications when I get pregnant even though the baby isn't even born yet, is that true?? I find that so strange... I plan to stay with the baby until 6-8 month and start putting him in a Daycare Center a few months before I restart working so that we get used by the daily routine.

I know it's a bit early to start asking that kind of questions since it's planned for next year and making a baby could not be that easy but I prefer feel safe and prepared rather than rush for the baby and have to lose my job or something. So if you have any return on experience about Daycare for 0-3 year-old in Tokyo/Saitama I would be happy to read about it!

[MyTime]

@Kiyora999:

I'm afraid I can't help you much with regards to to the practical details of applying for daycare because my wife handled it all for us, but I do know that it was a quite a long and protracted process, so I don't think you are thinking about this too early.

What I can say that may be of some assurance to you is that our nearly-two-year-old just started going to daycare last month, and I saw at least a couple of other mixed-race kids starting at the same time when I went to the entrance ceremony. I live in a less cosmopolitan area than you too, so I don't think you have much to worry about in that regard.

I think it probably does depend on the facility, though, so you could go and see a few places in advance and find one that you like--they hold open days when you can do that. You can ask the staff at that time if there are many kids from international families at the facility.

[windborn]

I was wondering, is it possible that I get some troubles to get my kid accepted in Public Daycare centers because he/she will be half?
I speak fluently Japanese and don't plan to come back to Europe so we prefer to go for traditional Japanese systems and I'll speak French/English at home so that she/he will be able to understand the family when we meet.

We'll be in Tokyo around Kita-ku (Akabane) at that time or in Saitama. Do you know how much time before we have to apply in Tokyo to be sure to have a place available somewhere so that we can both work?
I've heard that we have to start doing applications when I get pregnant even though the baby isn't even born yet, is that true?? I find that so strange... I plan to stay with the baby until 6-8 month and start putting him in a Daycare Center a few months before I restart working so that we get used by the daily routine.

I know it's a bit early to start asking that kind of questions since it's planned for next year and making a baby could not be that easy but I prefer feel safe and prepared rather than rush for the baby and have to lose my job or something. So if you have any return on experience about Daycare for 0-3 year-old in Tokyo/Saitama I would be happy to read about it!

I do not think you will get any trouble just because your child will be half.

There are 2 Facebook groups i'd recommend you to join and find out more information. Tokyo Pregnancy Group, and Tokyo Mothers Group. In the Pregnancy Group, you can find information about gynecologist and hospitals. It's not about the language, but rather the Japanese system which many are not used to (eg. no epidural). In the Mothers Group, The majority of mothers there are married to Japanese husbands and their children are half, and there are some mothers who are Japanese as well. Many of their children attend the local Japan system.