Raising Kids and Picking Schools

[DragonAsh]

Just my $0.02, but I'd rather focus on raising a well-rounded individual that loves learning before throwing a lot of money at an international school as if 'English as the first language' was a magic pill. Not going to an international school doesn't suddenly create a barrier to living overseas.

I personally think international school in most cases is a colossal waste of money that could almost certainly would have far better uses, but I fully realize that's my own personal opinion.

[captainspoke]

Just my $0.02, but I'd rather focus on raising a well-rounded individual that loves learning before throwing a lot of money at an international school as if 'English as the first language' was a magic pill. Not going to an international school doesn't suddenly create a barrier to living overseas.

I personally think international school in most cases is a colossal waste of money that could almost certainly would have far better uses, but I fully realize that's my own personal opinion.

Spot on.

[captainspoke]

As above, there's a lot of accumulated knowledge here:

https://www.bsig.org/monographs
That SIG is one of the best, and you can look thru some of the monographs that are free PDFs to see the situations of many others, the choices they've made, what's happened/developed in view of various factors. These people are like you (and us), raising, or having raised, kids in Japan while wanting to encourage bilingualism, considering schools, and other such options.

[StockBeard]

as if 'English as the first language' was a magic pill. Not going to an international school doesn't suddenly create a barrier to living overseas.

Statistically, strong English skills ensure a better financial outcome in life. It's actually the only (second) language for which that has been found to be true. My source is an old podcast from freakonomics (can't find the link anymore :/)


With that being said, 100% agreed with you. It doesn't have to be the first language, and international school is not a prerequisite anyway. There are other ways.
I have survivor bias, but I went to school in France, the English classes were average at best, but today I have zero problem handling 100% of my professional life in English (I'm also paid about twice as much as my peers who stayed in France. One data point confirming the stat above). All it took was video games as a teenager and a strong interest for US TV Shows in my twenties.

[MyTime]

Going a bit off topic, but this is something that I am losing sleep over just now.

I have a one-and-half year old daughter, and I feel that I should be raising her to be bilingual, but so far I'm failing miserably. It's so hard when my spouse doesn't speak English and my family and social life is all in Japanese.

I feel like I'm letting her down by not making more of an effort, but I have such limited time with her. When I'm with her I just want to connect and communicate with her (and my wife). It would be hard to turn that time into a kind of prolonged English class.

Can anyone relate?

[StockBeard]

Can anyone relate?

Yes, but I'd say it's not too late.

(Update: I assume English is your native language? If not, nothing I said really applies)

1) It doesn't matter if your wife doesn't speak English. Speak English to your daughter. All the time. That's the only opportunity she has
--> What I do when I play with the baby: I describe everything she does in my native language (French) ("oh, you're picking the ball, that's great. It's a yellow ball. It bounces. That's fun!". Random crap like that. Just describe.) . My wife doesn't speak it except for a few words, but she is 100% supportive. She's learning a few words too
2) Read her a book before bed. Takes 20 minutes every day, max. Doesn't have to be a complex book, but if you do it right, ultimately she'll be the one asking you to read it for her
3) Now's the right time. I did that for my son who is now 7. He is bilingual (trilingual actually). I did not do it for my daughter (for multiple reasons) who is now 3, and she is showing some strong reluctance to speak (understand? my language.
4) Try to sneak some of your language in the media they consume: TV, Video games, music. Might be too early but when the time comes, give it a try
5) Any way to find other parents of the same nationality as you? A day at the park far away from the wives, with all the fathers speaking French has yielded good results for me

(Edit: updated a few things)

[RetireJapan]

Can anyone relate?

Yes, but I'd say it's not too late.

(Update: I assume English is your native language? If not, nothing I said really applies)

1) It doesn't matter if your wife doesn't speak English. Speak English to your daughter. All the time. That's the only opportunity she has
--> What I do when I play with the baby: I describe everything she does in my native language (French) ("oh, you're picking the ball, that's great. It's a yellow ball. It bounces. That's fun!". Random crap like that. Just describe.) . My wife doesn't speak it except for a few words, but she is 100% supportive. She's learning a few words too
2) Read her a book before bed. Takes 20 minutes every day, max. Doesn't have to be a complex book, but if you do it right, ultimately she'll be the one asking you to read it for her
3) Now's the right time. I did that for my son who is now 7. He is bilingual (trilingual actually). I did not do it for my daughter (for multiple reasons) who is now 3, and she is showing some strong reluctance to speak (understand? my language.
4) Try to sneak some of your language in the media they consume: TV, Video games, music. Might be too early but when the time comes, give it a try
5) Any way to find other parents of the same nationality as you? A day at the park far away from the wives, with all the fathers speaking French has yielded good results for me

(Edit: updated a few things)

I speak to my granddaughter exclusively in English. We watch English films and TV shows together, and I read her books in English. She just turned six, and can pretty much understand everything I say. She doesn't produce much English of her own, but we're planning a trip in the summer to stay with relatives who don't speak Japanese, so hopefully that will push her out of her comfort zone.

I'm not sure it's going to be enough (I only get a couple of hours a week with her and I'm the only English speaker in her life) but something is better than nothing, and we're building a base that she can build on later if she wants to.

[windborn]

Can anyone relate?

Yes, but I'd say it's not too late.

(Update: I assume English is your native language? If not, nothing I said really applies)

1) It doesn't matter if your wife doesn't speak English. Speak English to your daughter. All the time. That's the only opportunity she has
--> What I do when I play with the baby: I describe everything she does in my native language (French) ("oh, you're picking the ball, that's great. It's a yellow ball. It bounces. That's fun!". Random crap like that. Just describe.) . My wife doesn't speak it except for a few words, but she is 100% supportive. She's learning a few words too
2) Read her a book before bed. Takes 20 minutes every day, max. Doesn't have to be a complex book, but if you do it right, ultimately she'll be the one asking you to read it for her
3) Now's the right time. I did that for my son who is now 7. He is bilingual (trilingual actually). I did not do it for my daughter (for multiple reasons) who is now 3, and she is showing some strong reluctance to speak (understand? my language.
4) Try to sneak some of your language in the media they consume: TV, Video games, music. Might be too early but when the time comes, give it a try
5) Any way to find other parents of the same nationality as you? A day at the park far away from the wives, with all the fathers speaking French has yielded good results for me

(Edit: updated a few things)

Second this. One parent one language is the way to go. It might be tough at first because she does not seem to understand you, but children their age learn very quickly. Keep repeating the same things in English and she will learn quickly. Try to spend the entire weekend with her and talking to her. If you still feel there is not enough exposure to English, then you might want to consider sending her to afternoon English music classes where it's about singing songs and learning music in English.

[windborn]

as if 'English as the first language' was a magic pill. Not going to an international school doesn't suddenly create a barrier to living overseas.

Statistically, strong English skills ensure a better financial outcome in life. It's actually the only (second) language for which that has been found to be true. My source is an old podcast from freakonomics (can't find the link anymore :/)


With that being said, 100% agreed with you. It doesn't have to be the first language, and international school is not a prerequisite anyway. There are other ways.
I have survivor bias, but I went to school in France, the English classes were average at best, but today I have zero problem handling 100% of my professional life in English (I'm also paid about twice as much as my peers who stayed in France. One data point confirming the stat above). All it took was video games as a teenager and a strong interest for US TV Shows in my twenties.

I believe it's likely because English is a global business language, which is slowly being recognized by more Japanese companies in Japan as well.
Hence, I agree that the more fluent or comfortable one is in English, the more likely one is to do well financially in future. This is true in my home country, where majority of the people are bilingual with many even speaking 3 languages.

One thing i am uncertain of, and is one of the main reasons I am staying away from youchien, is the approach or teaching methodology employed. I believe that at kindergarten, children need to be allowed to explore and learn from experimentation. They should not made to conform to certain standards or prevented from asking "why". Google "Reggio Emilia". So the international preschools/kindergarten i am looking at, are those that uses a similar approach. The only Japanese youchien i know that has a different approach is Buddy, which emphasizes outdoor activities and sports.

Lastly, international preschool/kindergarten need not be overly expensive. There is one in Musashino-shi that is less than JPY1mil annually.

[DragonAsh]

One thing i am uncertain of, and is one of the main reasons I am staying away from youchien, is the approach or teaching methodology employed. I believe that at kindergarten, children need to be allowed to explore and learn from experimentation. They should not made to conform to certain standards or prevented from asking "why". Lastly, international preschool/kindergarten need not be overly expensive. There is one in Musashino-shi that is less than JPY1mil annually.

The nearby yochien my daughter (and wife! obv many years ago) attended most certainly didn't make the children 'conform' or stop them from asking why. It was a very local, very normal, and a very good yochien from what I can see including compared to the yochien my son attended in London - and it cost less than Y250,000 a year.

A lot of parent involvement was expected, which to me is a very good sign - I recall a study that said one of the biggest determinants of educational success wasn't the cost of the education but the level of parent involvement.

If you're unsure of the teaching methodology being employed, the best approach is to ask.