The seductive qualities of helplessness
Have you ever had someone ask you for advice about something, then immediately reject the advice you gave because it was impossible for them to do it?
I call this the loser response. I’ve written about it before.
It popped up again on Twitter recently.
I get it.
I even do it myself sometimes. It’s more comfortable to have an excuse not to do the thing, or a reason why you couldn’t have done the thing.
That is a pretty miserable way to live your life though.
One of the least attractive qualities in a person is being unable to take responsibility for things. It’s extremely off-putting. It’s also a recipe for a miserable life.
Taking responsibility is the first step to changing things.
This is the opposite of the loser response.
It’s incredibly empowering. When I lost my job, I initially felt sorry for myself and angry at my former employer.
Then I noticed that neither of those were making my life better. Only once I took responsibility for the situation (the fact that I didn’t have enough savings to weather the financial setback was my fault) did I start to make changes that would lead to financial strength and resilience.
I see it with our employees. Anyone who makes excuses, blames other people, refuses to learn from experience is not going to grow much.
People who take responsibility stand out.
If your first reaction is ‘I can’t do that because…’ take a moment and imagine that you could do it. Where would that lead you?
It might just be a better place.
The key is to catch yourself doing it, taking a step back and ignoring the excuse long enough to move past it.
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