I can’t afford to [do the thing]

Can’t afford to or have other priorities?

Someone told me the other day that they can’t afford to have children in Japan.

I’m not sure that is really the case.

Japan does not have to be a particularly expensive place to raise kids: most of the ‘average’ numbers you see include optional spending on juku or private schools, naraigoto, travel, university fees, weddings, etc.

In practice there is no need for parents to pay for any of that unless they want to.

The average household income in Japan is just under 5.5m yen, and the median is 4.2m yen.

People have children living on incomes far above and far below the national average, and everywhere in between. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, of course, but in Japan you can raise children for less than in many other countries.

My wife was earning around 150,000 yen a month as a single mother with three kids when I met her.

If people want to have children, they will do so and figure out how to make things work around that. It is a matter of priorities.

Now, if you say you want to have children but you choose not to because it is not enough of a priority, that is certainly your choice (and probably the right choice for you).

But it is not the same as not being able to afford to.

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It’s kind of like the way I say that I want to be a published novelist.

An impartial observer would look at my actions (I never write fiction) and conclude that I don’t actually want to publish novels, I just kind of like the idea of doing so.

I haven’t made it a priority.

At some point I am going to have to be honest with myself and admit that publishing novels is just not that important to me.

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I also meet people who say they can’t afford to save money, or to invest for the future.

Again, that seems unlikely (unless they are homeless, or in dire poverty). It’s just not a priority for them.

If you have any discretionary spending at all, you can afford to put some money away for emergencies.

You can probably afford to invest for the future too (for iDeCo, the minimum is 5,000 yen a month; for NISA, the minimum can be as little as 100 yen depending on your broker).

Choosing not to put money aside or invest means it just isn’t a priority right now.

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When thinking about our goals, or our finances, it is so important to be self-aware and try to think about things deeply.

The best way to get control of your spending is to really think about your priorities. How does spending money on a certain category impact your life? How does it make you feel? How much value are you getting from it?

Before 2008, I rarely thought about my spending. I just spent all my money each month, waited until payday and started spending again.

Then I lost my job and was forced to think about it deeply. That led to some huge changes, which I think have made my life much better.

Now I choose not to spend money on a car, but spend as much as I like on food.

I don’t really buy clothes, but I spend extravagantly on hotels when we travel.

I don’t pay off my mortgage early, but give money to family.

You can’t have everything, but you can usually have what you want if you are willing to give up other things.

No one can tell you how to spend your money, but if you don’t think deeply about what you are spending money on and why, you might not be getting as much value from it as you could.

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So, can you really not afford it or is it just not that much of a priority?

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